Networking Tips for Introverts

Networking is, unfortunately, a necessary part of business ownership, career advancement, and making friends as an adult. I was blissfully unaware of this fact until my first college fair, at which it became painfully clear that talking to strangers would be a requirement in order to move gracefully into adulthood—a fact that brings me a significant and daily sense of weltschmerz, the fancy German word for, “I hate it here.”

There are a myriad of ways to network, either through social media, local events, professional conferences, or everyday social interactions. Regardless of the method, networking is high on my list of things that make me sweaty, just below having to share a fun fact about myself with a small circle of strangers. 

Contrary to the *vicious lies* likely spread by our extroverted counterparts, introverts are not necessarily shy or socially awkward. Unlike extroverts who are energized by social settings, introverts are energized by alone time and often feel depleted after socializing. Some introverts have social anxiety (me), while others view social situations as something that’s best in small, sporadic doses (also me). 

And for the vast majority of us, networking is one of the more painful, stress-inducing social activities. Why? I can’t speak for all introverts, but networking, for me, is a cocktail of all my least favorite social activities: talking to strangers, talking about myself to strangers, talking to many strangers at once, and making strangers want to talk to me again. But, as mentioned above, networking is something I have to do as a business owner to ensure that my business is successful for the long haul. 

Early on in my business ownership *journey*, my strong desire to not be broke lit a raging fire under my introverted ass and forced me to learn how to network in a way that felt both authentic and only slightly uncomfortable. And so, my dear introverted pal, I give you permission to burn your networking rule book in exchange for these introvert-friendly networking strategies.

Quality Over Quantity

As an introvert, the goal of making as many professional connections as possible never felt attainable or authentic to who I am as a person. Instead, I focus the majority of my networking energy on nurturing high-quality professional relationships, and reaching out to new connections when it makes sense or happens organically. 

What defines a high-quality relationship? These are my close friends and colleagues who directly provide business opportunities, learning opportunities, or outreach opportunities. In other words, these people are one text or phone call away and will go out of their way to help me out in business and in life. These are relationships where 90% of our conversations are based on friendship, but we jump at the opportunity to support each other in business. These are people who I don’t have to give an elevator pitch to because they know me, are familiar with my work, and trust me to do an incredible job—in fact, they could probably give my elevator pitch for me.

Not only is quality networking more fun and personable, it has a higher return on investment than quantity networking. While a small percentage of my business has come from distant business connections, my bread and butter work has all come from my close friendships and colleagues. 

Be Brave and Fly Solo

I get it. Going to a networking event is scary, and it can feel more comfortable to go with a friend. But the thing about introverts is that, if given the opportunity to hide behind an extrovert, we will take it (even if we don’t mean to). In my experience, if I go to a networking event with a friend, I will spend most of my time attached at the hip using them as a social crutch. Whereas if I go by myself, I’m forced to introduce myself to new people and jump into conversations I might otherwise avoid. 

Of course flying solo is uncomfy, but if you’re going to take the time and energy to attend a networking event, you want to get the most out of it that you can. Going with a friend might be more fun, but it won’t necessarily push you to make new connections. 

Focus On *Small* Events

Speaking of networking events, giant conferences may not be the best setting for introverts. Why? These types of large-scale events tend to attract the super extroverts, and we can get lost in the mix. Also, conferences are a prime example of quantity, not quality, networking. You meet a ton of people, say your elevator pitch dozens of times, and walk away with a stack of business cards you’ll likely never use. 

Small networking events, on the other hand, offer more time to connect with individuals, have longer conversations about your businesses, and leave with genuine connections. Look for local networking events, like happy hours, lunch and learns, or memberships. Oftentimes, you’ll run into the same people at these events allowing you to nurture new connections over time.

Practice Your Pitch 

The elevator pitch is your friend, and it’s absolutely crucial to nail it. Not quite a sales pitch, an elevator pitch is a concise summary of who you are and what you do. It’s usually prompted by a, “So, what do you do?” And that’s typically the moment when I would forget every detail about myself in a mess of stuttering and perspiration. 

It doesn’t have to be flashy, but your pitch should be clear, concise, and memorable. Which is why it’s so important to practice. Like out loud in the mirror. Memorize it, rehearse it, and then pay attention to how people respond. Make adjustments based on things that may have been unclear or particularly interesting. 

Here’s an example of my elevator pitch: “I am a freelance content writer. I work predominantly with digital marketing agencies who outsource to me for website copy, articles, newsletters, and other long-form content. I’ve worked in a wide variety of industries, but have found my niche in healthcare, pharma, energy, and tech. I love freelancing, because it gives me the opportunity to pursue creative writing opportunities on the side.”

I don’t typically say my whole pitch at once, but I’ve learned what follow-up questions people typically ask and nailed down my responses. When you’re crafting your elevator pitch, try to include what you do, who your customers are, what your specific niche is, and why you’re passionate about it. 

Play to Your Strengths

While your elevator pitch is important, the best way to stand out at a networking event is to *listen*. Introverts often make great listeners, so play to that strength. Ask questions, listen intently, and make mental notes to follow up with people on what you discussed. 

People rarely remember what you said at a networking event, but they will remember the people who made them feel heard. If someone is sharing with you about their business, ask them what they love about it and how they got to where they are. If you have common paths or passions, point that out. 

Community Over Contacts

The rolodex, digital or otherwise, is dead. And good riddance to her, because there’s nothing introverts hate more than cold calling loose acquaintances. Building a contact list is about calling in favors when you need something. A community, on the other hand, thrives when everyone is doing well. For introverts in particular, community building is helpful because your small community connects you to a much wider net without having to do too much heavy lifting on the networking front.

What does community building look like? Sometimes it’s connecting people to good opportunities that have nothing to do with you or your business. Sometimes it’s getting together with a group of friends in similar industries. Sometimes it’s mentoring someone with less experience, or asking a seasoned pro to mentor you. Most importantly, it’s leveraging your own success to help others succeed, and accepting when others are willing to do the same for you.

Thank you for reading. I hope these silly little tips help your shy inner caterpillar blossom into a slightly antisocial butterfly. :)